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EXT. BRICK’S PATIO - DAY

A gorgeous day. The sun is shining. But BRICK BRADDOCK, retired police detective, is sitting quietly, contemplating -- something.

The SCREEN DOOR slides open and DICK STEEL, his former partner and fellow retiree, emerges with two cold beers.

STEEL

Beer’s ready!

BRICK

Are they cold?

STEEL

Does a bear crap in the woods?

Steel sits. They laugh at the dumb joke.

STEEL

(beer raised)

To retirement.

BRICK

To retirement.

They drink long and well from the beers.

And then there’s a long beat.Longer than is funny.Long enough to be depressing.

The men look at each other.

STEEL

Screw retirement.

BRICK

Screw retirement.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. TRAILER HOME - DAY

This is the home of THE BOY BAND, AKA DAN and JACK. They too are drinking beer, and counting the take from their last smash-and-grab. Money, drugs, and ridiculous props are strewn about the table.

JACK

(in Vietnamese, subtitled)

Did you know Brick and Steel are retired?

DAN

Then let’s retire them.Permanently.

Jack begins to argue vociferously in Vietnamese (?), But mercifully we…

CUT TO:

EXT. BRICK’S POOL - DAY

Steel, in the middle of a heated phone call:

STEEL

They’re coming out of the woodwork!

(pause)

No, everybody we’ve put away!

(pause)

Point Blank Sniper?

SNIPER SCOPE POV

From what seems like only INCHES AWAY. Steel’s face FILLS the Leupold Mark 4 scope.

STEEL

The man’s a myth!

Steel turns and looks straight into the cross-hairs.

STEEL

(oh crap)

Hello…

CUT TO:

OPENING TITLES

BRICK BRADDOCK & DICK STEEL IN

BRICK & STEEL FULL RETIRED

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. WOODEN SHACK - DAY

COGNITO, the criminal mastermind, is SLAMMED against the wall.

COGNITO

Woah woah woah, Brick and Steel!

Sure enough, it’s Brick and Steel, roughing up their favorite usual suspect.

COGNITO

What is it you want with me, DICK?

Steel SMACKS him.

STEEL

Who’s coming after us?

COGNITO

Everyone’s coming after you mate! Scorpio, The Boy Band, Sparrow, Point Blank Sniper…

As he rattles off the long list, Brick and Steel share a look. This is going to be BAD.

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - DAY

BRICK and STEEL get into Mom’s PORSCHE, Steel at the wheel. They pause for a beat, the gravity of the situation catching up with them.

BRICK

This is everybody we’ve ever put away.

STEEL

(starting the engine)

So much for retirement!

They speed off. To destiny!

CUT TO:

EXT. PALATIAL MANSION - DAY

An EXTREMELY HANDSOME MAN drinks a beer. Shirtless, unfortunately.

His minion approaches offscreen:

MINION

We found Brick and Steel!

HANDSOME MAN

I want them dead. DEAD!

Beer flies.

BURN TO PINK.

THE END